


The New Doctor on the Block

by SingingInTheRaiin



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Police, Bones and Jim are both pan, Gen, Getting blackout drunk, Jim can't help being thirsty, Jim does not condone cheating, Jim is very dense when it comes to relationships, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pike is the Captain, Secret Admirer, leaving unsigned presents, past trauma, trying to make nicknames stick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 07:18:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18751645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingingInTheRaiin/pseuds/SingingInTheRaiin
Summary: The department just got a new forensic, Dr. McCoy. Jim thinks the man has nice arms, but he will not go after a married man.





	The New Doctor on the Block

They had to work together, so they would need to just get over their differences already, and stop acting as though either of them were nearly as bad as they made each other out to be. But even though Jim knew how to be professional (most of the time, or at least when it really counted), something about the doctor brought out a more childish side of himself. As soon as the captain dismissed them, they left his office, and then Jim turned his head just far enough to the side to make it clear that it was the doctor he was sticking his tongue out at.

McCoy raised one eyebrow. “Seriously? How the hell am I expected to work with you when you’re actually twelve?”

“At least I don’t have a stick lodged so far up my ass that I can hear my teeth clack against it every time I talk.”

McCoy grumbled some rather unflattering things under his breath before storming away, and Jim gave a small nod of satisfaction. Clearly he’d been the one to get the last word in, in this case. As he made his way back over to his desk, someone reached out to grab his arm and yank him harshly into the viewing room connected to the interrogation room. “What was that about?”

Jim pulled himself free. “Geez, you need to ease up on the strength training, Uhura. And that was about Pike saying that that annoying doctor guy is going to be working with the department from now on. Apparently he’s not skilled enough to work with living people, because he’s now our new forensic examiner, which means they’ve put him where he can’t possibly do anymore harm.”

Uhura narrowed her eyes as she looked at Jim carefully, as if he had any reason to lie about this. “You are talking about the same Leonard McCoy that I’m thinking about, right? Because that man is known as one of the best general surgeons in the country. I heard that the only reason he stopped was because he was in the middle of a messy divorce so he made a mistake that got his patient killed and he couldn’t stand the guilt anymore.”

Jim shrugged. “See? Not to be trusted with live human beings, that one.” Though he did feel slightly guilty now, since he hadn’t known anything about any divorce, or lost patient, or whatever. 

His fellow detective did not look swayed. She put her hands on her lips and gave Jim a Look ™. “And I’m pretty sure that you’re only acting like a jerk to him because you’re annoyed that he found the leg bone that solved your last case for you.”

“Lies. All lies. Now if you’ll excuse me, some of us have actual work that we need to be doing. I don’t have such a high solve rate for no reason.” Then he hurried away before Uhura could say anything else that might make him feel guilty.

The next few days went by without much problem, but then there was a new case being dropped on his desk, and as he headed out to the scene of the crime, he saw that it was McCoy who was already there, looking closely at the body on the ground. Jim cleared his throat. “So what do we have here?” 

McCoy stood up straight, giving Jim an unimpressed look, and making Jim all too aware of the fact that the doctor was at least an inch taller than him, which rankled on his nerves more than it probably should have. “A dead body.”

“If that’s all you could figure out, then maybe you shouldn’t be working with the police. I’m quite sure that we would be able to survive without your ‘expertise’.”

Before McCoy could open his mouth, the lieutenant cleared his throat. “Perhaps you could enlighten us with any important information that you have gleaned thus far, Dr. McCoy.”

Of course Spock was going to go and act like the neutral zone between them. Being neutral was probably what he was best at in life. Jim decided that it wouldn’t be worth his time to fling any more insults, and just waited for McCoy’s analysis of the situation. “Well, the cause of death seems to be either poison, if the foaming at the mouth is anything to go by.”

“Or maybe it’s rabies,” Jim tossed out. “Gotta keep an open mind in this line of work.”

Spock had already walked away to look at some piece of tagged evidence on the ground, leaving nobody to mediate between the two men. “What the hell’s your problem with me? I haven’t done anything to you. Dammit, I’m a doctor, not a mind reader. If you don’t tell me what your problem with me is, then I have no way of knowing.”

Jim took in a deep breath, and then slowly let it out. “You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s just that you seem to be very… chummy with the captain, and he seems to think very highly of you and your skills. Which makes it pretty awkward when-”

“Detective! Look at this!” One of the CSIs was pointing excitedly at the corpse’s foot after having peeled off his shoes. Jim walked over to see what the fuss was. “That’s definitely a bite mark. Maybe the rabies theory isn’t such a joke afterall.”

Alright, Jim promised himself that this would be the last time, and he stuck his tongue out at McCoy before basically fleeing from the scene. It wasn’t because he feared some kind of retaliation, but solely because he knew that he still had so much paperwork to be doing.

,,,

“You wanted to see me, Captain?”

Pike leaned back in his seat, and stared up at Jim, not offering him a chance to sit down. “I had hoped that our little chat the other day would be enough to have you on your best behavior, but I don’t know why I bothered to believe that. Are you even aware of how many eyes are on this department each and every day? What is looks like for me when my own subordinates can’t be held to any kind of standards? It makes me look like a bad captain. Is that what you want? For me to get fired?”

Jim scoffed. “Obviously not.”

“Then pull your act together, Kirk, before I have to take serious disciplinary actions. I don’t want to bench my best detective, but I will not let this blatantly disrespectful behavior continue on my watch. Unless you have some specific complaint against Dr. McCoy, I need you to shut up and start cooperating with him. We are all on the same team.”

They both stared at each other for a long moment before Jim spoke, letting his words tumble out of his mouth slowly. “And by disciplinary actions you mean-”

“I mean no more of that chocolate cake you like so much.”

Jim bit his lip as he considered whether continuing a contentious relationship with McCoy was worth losing his chocolate cake privileges. After thinking about it for a few seconds, he came to the obvious conclusion. “I’ll apologize to the doctor the next time I see him.”

Pike nodded. “Good. I’m so glad that we were able to have this talk. Now get the hell out of my office before I ask Spock to come in here and throw you out. Don’t think that I won’t do it.”

Though he didn’t look it, Spock was actually a pretty strong guy, and Jim didn’t want to risk calling Pike’s bluff, so he quickly hurried out of the man’s office and back to his own desk. He paused for a moment when he realized that McCoy was standing next to it, scrolling through something on his phone as he presumably waited for Jim to arrive. Jim cleared his throat. “Hey there doctor guy. What can I do for you?”

McCoy gave him a sour look before nodding towards a file folder on top of Jim’s desk that hadn’t been there before. “The autopsy report from Kevin Michaelson.” Jim arched one eyebrow expectantly. It’s not like McCoy needed to be there in person as Jim received the file. The doctor sighed, looking as though his next words were going to physically pain him. “Look, whatever it is that I did to piss you off, I’m sorry. Now can you please get over yourself so that we can actually do our jobs and solve murders?”

Jim picked up the file to flip through it. He faced away from McCoy and used the folder as a shield as he mumbled. “I should be the one apologizing to you. You didn’t do anything wrong, I was just being a jerk.” And it wasn’t because McCoy had been invaluable in the very first case he’d been a part of, as Uhura suspected. Jim would never dislike one of his coworkers for being good at their job. The whole reason he became a cop was to help people, not for the glory of it, so whatever got the case solved was fine by him. He didn’t actually want to clarify about the real reason, though, and hoped that McCoy would just leave it be now.

But apparently Jim had the worst luck (though perhaps karma meant that he deserved his fate). “So if I didn’t do anything wrong, why were you being such a jerk? And don’t try to say that it’s because you’re like to everyone, because I’ve seen you interacting with the others around the station, and you tend to much more charming towards them than towards me.”

Well he had already told Pike that he was going to resolve the situation, so he didn’t really have much choice now, did he? He closed his eyes, and hoped that his face wasn’t going to turn bright red. “It’s because of your arms.”

Clearly that hadn’t been an answer that the doctor had expected. “What?”

Jim sighed, and hated his life, and everything that had led him to this very moment, and Pike for threatening the sanctity of a man’s ability to eat delicious homemade cake in peace, and McCoy for pushing the matter when it was so obviously unnecessary to do so. “I said it’s because of your arms.”

“Yes, I heard you the first time. But what the hell does that even mean?” 

Jim hunched his head down between his shoulders, and held the file even closer to his face than before, while also speaking in a quiet mumble. “You have very nice arms and they were very distracting the other day when I first saw you so I ended up spilling my coffee all over my shirt.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and waited to be slapped or berated or something. Here he was, a seasoned detective, one of the best in the precinct, and yet he couldn’t control himself any better than a teenager the moment he saw someone whose muscles bulged in just the right way. When McCoy started laughing loudly, Jim wanted to find the nearest window to hurl himself through (not that that would help much, considering that they were on the first floor, and all that). 

But he was surprised when McCoy gave him a friendly slap on the back. “I have to tell Jocelyn about this.”

Jim slowly opened his eyes, though he wasn’t ready to let his guard down in case the slap was still coming. “Jocelyn?”

“Wife.”

And suddenly Jim was able to put himself back into his completely normal professional mode. He had very few rules when it came to his personal life, but one that he absolutely never broke was making even the slightest move towards anyone who was already in a relationship. Knowing that McCoy was married didn’t suddenly make him less attractive, but it allowed Jim to get his priorities in order, and he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry again about my behavior since you got here. I assure you that it won’t happen again.” Then he hurried off, file still in hand.

,,,

Friday nights were when all of the detectives in the bullpen would head out to the Shipyard Bar together for some drinks and a cooldown from whatever they’d worked on throughout the week. Jim ended up being one of the last ones left as the others left over the course of the night, heading home to their families and responsibilities. Lucky that Jim didn’t have any of those to worry about.

He was in the middle of sharing a funny story with a woman made more attractive by the booze in his system, appreciating the sound of her laugh, when he saw McCoy walk into the bar. Jim promised the nameless woman that he’d be right back, and then made his way over to the doctor. “Hey there, buddy! You’re a bit late to the party. All the responsible adults have already gone home.”

McCoy shrugged. “Sorry, but it’s my night with Joanna, and I couldn’t skip out on that.”

Jim could have sworn that McCoy’s wife’s name was Jocelyn. Then again, he was pretty drunk at the moment, so he wouldn’t be surprised if he completely misremembered. “Well have fun drinking by yourself. I was just about to head out.” He nodded towards the woman sitting at the bar, and then gave McCoy an exaggerated wink. 

McCoy blinked a few times, though Jim couldn’t get an accurate read of the man’s expression. “Oh. I thought that… nevermind.”

Jim laughed. “I hope you weren’t someone who mistook me for one of those awful responsible people. It’s alright, I have no problem being the office slut!” He wasn’t quite sure if he was shouting to be heard over the music and crowd, or because his brain was buzzing too much for him to even hear his own thoughts at the moment. Then he gave McCoy a pat on the shoulder and then turned to make his way back over to the woman, who was giving him a saucy grin from across the bar. 

,,,

As Jim tried to carefully maneuver through the dark house, he ended up slamming his leg into a table, and swore under his breath, more at the loud noise caused by something slamming to the floor than at the dull pain that flared through his limb. It didn’t take long for him to hear someone coming down the stairs, and then he was practically blinded as the lights were flipped on. “Don’t shoot, it’s just me,” he slurred out.

He heard a sigh, and then there was a strong arm supporting him over to the couch. “It’s three in the morning, Jim. What are you doing here?”

“Missed you,” he whispered before letting out a big yawn. “And be quiet. Can’t wake up the… oh. Guess you’re already awake.” He laughed. “That’s good! That’s good, I like that you’re awake right now.”

As he flopped down onto the couch, his vision finally seemed to return to something resembling normal, and he blinked up at Pike, who looked exhausted and also ridiculous in his dinosaur patterned pajama pants. “If you’ve got anything in you besides alcohol right now, please don’t tell me about it.” He let out a tired sigh. “You haven’t been back here since you moved out. Why are you really here? And don’t say you missed me. You see me everyday at work.”

Jim let his head fall back, and he stared up at the ceiling. “Had a bad dream,” he said quietly. 

Pike sank down onto the couch next to Jim. “Do you want to talk about it? What was the dream about?”

Jim shrugged. “I don’t know. Tarsus, Frank, Mom, Sam, take your pick.” He hated the way that tears dared to leak from his eyes. 

There was only a brief pause before Pike wrapped his arm around Jim’s shoulder, and pulled the younger man into a hug. “Well, I’m here regardless of what it is you want to talk about.” There was only a soft snore in response.

,,,

Monday morning found Jim strolling into work as chipper as usual, though he paused when he saw a package sitting on his desk. He walked over to it, and saw that it was wrapped (rather messily) in shiny gold paper. He glanced over at Sulu, whose desk was closest to his. “Did I forget about my birthday or something?” 

Sulu glanced at the small tearaway calendar on his desk before shaking his head. “Nope.”

Well that certainly left everything nice and vague. Jim couldn’t deny that it was exciting to get a present though, so he picked it up and unwrapped it. It was a book of Shakespeare poems. Jim dropped the wrapping paper carelessly as he opened the book up to the page that had a fancy bookmark sticking out of it. Sonnet 20 was the one that had been marked, and Jim stared at the page with bemusement. He looked at Sulu again. “Did you see who left this here?”

The other man shook his head. “Sorry, but no. It was already there when I got in about ten minutes ago. Maybe you could ask the captain? He’s usually the first one here in the mornings.”

The idea of asking Pike about who might have left a love poem on Jim’s desk seemed like far too daunting a task, especially after what had happened over the weekend. It was pretty rare that Jim got wasted enough to actually black out, but it was even rarer to wake up on the captain’s couch with a glass of water and some advil awaiting him. 

Jim slowly looked around the bullpen. The other detectives were just arriving, though Uhura seemed as though she was already settled at her desk. Jim went over to her, though he left the book on his own desk. “Hey, you wouldn’t happen to have seen who left me a present, would you?”

She arched one eyebrow. “Why?”

Jim shrugged, and jammed his hands into his pockets. “No reason. Maybe I just wanted to be able to give them a present in return?”

Uhura stared at him for several long seconds before shrugging. “No idea who it was.”

Jim narrowed his eyes. “You lying little-”

“Ah, Detective Kirk, there’s a new case for you,” one of the officers said, sounding somewhat nervous as they held out a folder.

Jim took the folder and gave the man a small nod. “Thanks.” Then he looked back at Uhura. “This isn’t over. I’m going to get a name from you one way or another.” Then he waved the folder through the air. “Want to check this out with me?”

“I know what you’re doing. You’re not going to get anything out of me. But sure, I’ll bite. You always get all the interesting cases anyways.”

,,,

When they returned to the station, Jim paced back and forth in front of the lab a few times before McCoy growled out, “You gonna get in here or not?”

Jim sighed, and stepped into the room, glancing around even though it all looked the same as it always did. “Do you have an autopsy report back yet?”

McCoy gave Jim a long look, and then shuffled through a messy stack of folders before grabbing the right one and holding it out. Jim tried to take it, but McCoy pulled it back at the last moment. “Now that we’re best buddies, and all that crap, I need a favor.”

Jim crossed his arms over his chest and gave the man a suspicious look. “I guess it would depend on the favor?” 

“Jocelyn has Joanna on Wednesday and I need someone to be the guinea pig for my new recipes.” 

It took a moment for Jim to realize that that was all McCoy was going to say. “Wait, are you asking me to have dinner with you? Look, I appreciate the offer, and believe me, I do love free food even from dubious sources, but I have a strong rule that I’m not about to break now for you.” Then he clutched the folder to his chest as he hurried away, hating McCoy for trying to see someone behind his wife’s back.

,,,

There was a box of chocolates on Jim’s desk a few days later with a sticky note reading ‘PEANUT FREE’ in large block letters. Which was nice to know, considering how allergic Jim was to nuts. He wondered how many people in the station were aware of that fact, and would also care enough to give him candy. 

,,,

“Dude, I can’t believe you got ketchup all over this report. How could you let this happen?”

McCoy looked up at Jim, and seemed even grouchier than usual (something Jim wouldn’t have thought possible). “That’s blood, not ketchup.”

“Oh, right, well that’s much better. I don’t know what I was thinking to get so upset over a little bit of blood. I mean, it’s not like we need to be professionals, or file this paperwork away somewhere that a lot of people will be looking at it, or anything like that. Forgive me for believing otherwise.”

McCoy rolled his eyes. “Type it up yourself next time if it’s such a concern for you.”

Jim shrugged. “I mean, it’s not really my job to write reports about lab work, but whatever.” As he left the lab, it seemed like he could feel the weight of McCoy’s gaze on his back.

,,,

Jim was woken abruptly by someone slamming their hand down on top of his desk. He jumped up, and looked around to see what had just disturbed him. And then he realized how dark the room was. “What the-?”

“You fell asleep at your desk, dumbass. Was your case really that important?”

Jim covered his mouth as he let out a loud yawn, and then reached up to run his fingers through his hair. He saw the barely contained snickers coming from the doctor, and scowled. “What?”

McCoy reached out to poke Jim in the cheek. “Half of your report is written on your face.”

Jim pulled away from the other man, and let out another yawn as he did so. “Yeah, yeah, it’s hilarious. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go home. Sleep in a real bed.” It didn’t occur to him until he was already back in his car that he hadn’t asked why McCoy was at work so late either.

,,,

Jim wasn’t expecting to go to work the next day and find the softest blanket he’d ever felt before, with various famous literature quotes scattered across it.

,,,

“Alright, this is just getting ridiculous. I’m not married!”

Jim blinked a couple of times and slowly looked up from his computer screen. “Beg your pardon?”

McCoy was standing there, looking frustrated and grumpy (both of which were completely normal looks on him). “You said I have nice arms and we can have good conversations because you’re one of the few people in this place who isn’t entirely intelligence-deficient, and you seem to like all of the gifts I’ve given you, but you’re always running away and I thought that you might be scared off by the fact that I’ve already got a kid, but when I asked Nyota about it, she said that you have a weird hang up about married people, but like I said, I’m not married!”

That was certainly a lot to take in at ten in the morning, but Jim only took a few seconds to process all of it. “But you said you have a wife,” he started to argue before he could stop himself.

“An ex-wife,” he said with more exasperation than seemed warranted by the situation. “We’ve been divorced for over three years now, but sometimes I just say ‘wife’ instead because it’s habit after being married for so long.”

Jim gulped. “Oh. Wait, you were the one who left me those presents? Why?”

McCoy took in a deep breath and then slowly let it out. “Okay, maybe I was wrong about you being any smarter than anyone else around here. Because apparently you’re as dumb as a brick, and I’ve just been wasting my time.”

He started to leave, but Jim reached out to grab his sleeve. “Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying you want to bone me? Is that why you invited me to dinner that one time?”

McCoy sighed. “I invited you to dinner because I wanted to spend some time with you. I’m starting to rethink that decision now though.”

Jim furrowed his eyebrows. “You asked me on a date, but not to have sex?” It was a confusing concept to get through his mind. “Well then I officially accept, and there are no take-backs, Bones.” 

The doctor pulled his arm free. “What did you just call me?”

Jim laughed. “Bones. Remember that first case you solved for the department was when you found that leg bone? So you’re Bones now.”

He shook his head. “Alright, any offers of dates have been retracted and I don’t have to justify myself…” he trailed off at the look of blatant amusement on Jim’s face. “One date. And only because you said I have nice arms.” Then he hurried off to his lab, leaving Jim behind with a big grin on his face.


End file.
